Divine Inspiration Review

Posted By: Cella

Divine Inspiration Pink

Well I’m sure that Divine would have been divine had she worked.

Yep. First time I’ve ever been given a toy to review and it just didn’t work. OK the Astrea II Vibrating Thong Panties didn’t work for me either. But it was their design flaw not a manufacturing flaw. I mean that the toy itself wouldn’t turn on. Let alone turn me on. Curly by the way. Yes I went ahead and gave her a name, even if I never got to find out if she did indeed curl-my-toes.. I liked the idea. A soft vibrator, that also rotated around, sounded like a Divine idea. The fact that she was pink was a plus in my book.

Cal Exotic did do a few things right also in my book. 1st was the peep window. Yeah, a peep at what the toy actually looks like. Not just the photo on the side of the box – or wrapped in some hard plastic shell casing. The front of the box opens up and let’s you ‘peep’ inside at her.

Instructions. Yes there was a single page of instructions in Curly’s box. Half of them being on how to insert the batteries correctly. And before you ask: Yes I read them, and then re-read them, to make sure that the reason for Curly’s lack of performance had nothing to do with me and my battery-inserting abilities. I even tried them backwards, and a 2nd set of them.

If you are wondering: how does Cella know this much? Well I did what I could to review her. I did try and play around with her. But she really laid there like, a very limp uninteresting date. Curly looks well, curly. She has a nice curly flowery design on her. She has a nice weight to her with the batteries in. Her soft spongy, supposed to be vibrating and rotating around, head has a nice texture. I like her bumpiness. Although she makes a lousy glass-toy dildo. She really doesn’t give me that firm feeling that glass does. Which I guess she shouldn’t because that wasn’t her purpose.

I did clean her up a bit. After all, I did get a little cummie juice on her head. Please note: I don’t believe that she is waterproof. There is no indication anywhere on her packaging, so I’ve assumed on the side of caution. So be careful to use only a damp cloth or toy cleaner designed for such purposes.

So I apologize if this is a short review. I really didn’t have much fun with Curly to tell you anything different. If I end up having Curly replaced, and I don’t have any idea of what Cal Exotics return policy is on that: I will do a follow-up to this review. (Under normal situations Discrete-Sensations handles all returns and defective items, but I’m interested to see Cal Exotics Return policy in action, since they are now offering 1 year warranties on some of their ‘Luxury items’ I was interested to see what someone not purchasing through Discrete-Sensations would go through.)

Cella

Part deux:

Well I will give Cal Exotics this credit. Upon hearing that Curly didn’t live up to her promised joy, they sent me a replacement. Without much ado or hassle. So I tried again.

Last night I brought Curly out of her box. Gave her a little wipe down. Inserted batteries. And said a quick prayer. She has a small single push button to operate her. 1 push and she starts spinning around. 1 push more – and she spins the opposite way. Last push and she stops. Simple enough to understand and use.

The idea was nice enough, take some of my favorite bumps, and make them move. But it actually hurt. It was not the sensation I thought it would be. I feel bad, as the idea was really good. Yet, it simply didn’t move me the way that Cal Exotics planned.

I tried using Curly’s movements on different parts of my body. She pulled on the skin in a way that irritated rather than pleasured. I tried holding it away from my body – closer to my body – in my body – and in no way did I find a way to make it feel good. Well, I did like rubbing her knobby head against my skin – OFF. But that really wasn’t the point of Curly.

She just wasn’t my cup-of-tea. Sorry.

On a side note about the company itself. When getting something shipped from California Exotic Novelties. Be sure that you don’t live in a small town, with a nosy mailman, or young teenagers. They did ship Curly to me in a white padded envelope. There was no major announcement on it. But that didn’t stop my daughter from asking me about my new novel. She knows I write and read a lot, and so when seeing the company name on the outside assumed that it was a new book. Thankfully she didn’t look closer. The mailman on the other hand, did.

There on the packaging is their whole name spelled out. As well as on the packing label clearly marked for “Discrete Cella” in the notes section, twice. Once on the shipping label and once packing slip, that was folded in such a way as to clearly stand out. It was quite embarrassing to be approached by Noel, in the canned soup aisle, of our only grocery store. Noel saying to me, Hey Cella, didn’t know that you were into that sort of thing. With a sly expression on his face. I simply feigned ignorance of what he could be talking about, and walked to the frozen foods aisle.

My suggestion to you if you are in this situation – have it shipped to a friend, who lives in a very large city, whom you trust, and then have them ship it to you, or purchase through Discrete-Sensations, who will be your middle man to insure discretion is preserved should a defect or warranty effect your Toy.